16 Ways to Seem More Attractive

As someone who is not naturally or traditionally beautiful, I've learned various [noninvasive] ways through the years to seem and feel more attractive, so I thought I'd share because we all have insecurities about our appearances. Most of these suggestions apply to both men and women regardless of age :) 

Why does this even matter besides pure vanity? When I was single and dating, I felt like I couldn't really compete in the beauty department so I had to find other ways to compensate, i.e. "She's got a great personality!" 

In general, I find that when I look and feel my best, I'm more relaxed, happy, confident, and ultimately successful in my endeavors and activities whether they be meeting with a client (I'm a career coach) or taking my child to library story time. My best is not your best, and vice versa. Comparing ourselves to others is unfair and unhelpful. Making the best of my looks actually allows me to focus more on others and be present in the world around me instead of being self-conscious or insecure about how I look whenever I'm around other people. Plus it's nice to look in the mirror and not think "ugh." 

Au naturel 

1. Smile more - I have a classic RBF, meaning my natural relaxed expression tends to look mad/irritated. Everyone looks better and more approachable when they smile genuinely. 
2. Wear brighter colors - Whether it's clothes or makeup, research has shown that brighter colors make us look more attractive! With my yellow-toned skin and black hair, I look and feel much better when I'm wearing lipstick and blush as well as brighter colored clothes. It doesn't have to be your whole outfit, just one piece or accents in a pattern can brighten your look.  
3. Practice good posture - As a gymnast and dancer, I've always been hyper aware of my posture. Standing and sitting upright (but not stiffly) will do wonders for your inner confidence and outer appearance. Imagine a string pulling your head towards the ceiling and pull your shoulder blades down with your arms relaxed. This also improves your lung capacity so you get more oxygen. 
4. Wear well-fitted clothes that flatter your body vs. what's trendy - It doesn't matter what's fashionable right now, if it makes you feel uncomfortable or look heavier/shorter/wider, it's not worth it! Better to create a style that expresses yourself, suits your figure, and allows you to be comfortable so you're not constantly fixing your clothes. 
5. Stay hydrated and practice good skincare - One of the indicators of youth and health is smooth plump skin, which can be hard to achieve especially when your genes or age are working against you. I naturally have large pores, oily skin, and uneven pigmentation. Hence my obsession with skincare products since I was a teenager! We can all make the best of what we have by drinking lots of water, getting enough sleep, wearing sunblock, and exfoliating regularly. 
6. Get a flattering haircut and keep your hair healthy - This doesn't have to be high-maintenance. Regardless of your hair color or texture, get it trimmed regularly, find the right products for your hair type, and keep it clean. Get consultation on the best hair shape for your face shape. I have a round face, so I always get face-framing layers. 
7. Keep your nails neat and clean - Dirty, unkept nails and shoes are distracting and off-putting. Don't forget your toenails when wearing open-toed shoes. This doesn't have to be expensive; I've never gotten a professional manicure/pedicure. Just cut them regularly. 
8. Keep your shoes clean - This shows self-respect and good hygiene overall. Avoid uncomfortable shoes that make you walk funny or wince. 
9. Wear a pleasant scent (not too strong) - Smelling good subconsciously helps people have a more positive impression of you, but don't overdo it or you'll give them a headache and negative impression. If you don't wear scents, at the very least wear deodorant and not emit body odor!
10. Speak clearly and not too softly/loudly - You want to be heard and understood, but not make people stand back or have to work too hard to hear you. Speaking at a comfortable volume puts people at ease. 
11. Give genuine compliments - When you notice something you like or admire about someone, simply let them know in a pleasant way. It doesn't have to be gushy or awkward, but it'll make people feel good about themselves and about you. 
12. Be a good listener and read/watch/listen to interesting things - This is the conversational part that can attract people to you even if you're not the prettiest/handsomest person in the room. Don't go around spouting random facts, it's still important to pay attention to what others are saying and be present. But the more you know, the more interesting tangents and questions you can contribute to the discussion. 
13. Take pictures at flattering angles - Only the slimmest shapely models look good from the front straight on. 
• In whole body shots, turn 45 degrees to the right or left and turn your feet out. If you're female, put your front arm on your hip and bend your front knee to create a more feminine silhouette. Point your toes to lengthen your leg line. Avoid standing with your feet apart or turned in. 
• In selfies, place the camera slightly above forehead level and to the side - it accentuates your jawline and makes your eyes look bigger and brighter. It also hides asymmetries in your face, which most of us have. 
14. Find good lighting - Natural sunlight is best; it boosts serotonin and improves our mood. Avoid shadows from backlighting or direct overhead lighting as well as candle lighting, especially in pictures. Fluorescent lighting tends to give people a sickly pale look. 
15. Use a simple photo filter - I don't mean the glossy artificial ones like on Snapchat that make you look like a cartoon. Just the brightening filter (or "vivid" on iPhones) makes everything look nicer without distorting your looks. 
16. Remember that years from now, you'll look back at this time and realize you had fewer wrinkles ;) - Perspective is important! We are all always aging, so appreciate this moment and take good care of yourself :) 

Effort applied

A lot of attractiveness comes down to cleanliness, neatness, good health, and kindness. Maybe all this shouldn't matter but I find people respond better to me when I put effort into my appearance; it's human nature. So we might as well accept it and make the best of it!