16 Ways to Seem More Attractive

As someone who is not naturally or traditionally beautiful, I've learned various [noninvasive] ways through the years to seem and feel more attractive, so I thought I'd share because we all have insecurities about our appearances. Most of these suggestions apply to both men and women regardless of age :) 

Why does this even matter besides pure vanity? When I was single and dating, I felt like I couldn't really compete in the beauty department so I had to find other ways to compensate, i.e. "She's got a great personality!" 

In general, I find that when I look and feel my best, I'm more relaxed, happy, confident, and ultimately successful in my endeavors and activities whether they be meeting with a client (I'm a career coach) or taking my child to library story time. My best is not your best, and vice versa. Comparing ourselves to others is unfair and unhelpful. Making the best of my looks actually allows me to focus more on others and be present in the world around me instead of being self-conscious or insecure about how I look whenever I'm around other people. Plus it's nice to look in the mirror and not think "ugh." 

Au naturel 

1. Smile more - I have a classic RBF, meaning my natural relaxed expression tends to look mad/irritated. Everyone looks better and more approachable when they smile genuinely. 
2. Wear brighter colors - Whether it's clothes or makeup, research has shown that brighter colors make us look more attractive! With my yellow-toned skin and black hair, I look and feel much better when I'm wearing lipstick and blush as well as brighter colored clothes. It doesn't have to be your whole outfit, just one piece or accents in a pattern can brighten your look.  
3. Practice good posture - As a gymnast and dancer, I've always been hyper aware of my posture. Standing and sitting upright (but not stiffly) will do wonders for your inner confidence and outer appearance. Imagine a string pulling your head towards the ceiling and pull your shoulder blades down with your arms relaxed. This also improves your lung capacity so you get more oxygen. 
4. Wear well-fitted clothes that flatter your body vs. what's trendy - It doesn't matter what's fashionable right now, if it makes you feel uncomfortable or look heavier/shorter/wider, it's not worth it! Better to create a style that expresses yourself, suits your figure, and allows you to be comfortable so you're not constantly fixing your clothes. 
5. Stay hydrated and practice good skincare - One of the indicators of youth and health is smooth plump skin, which can be hard to achieve especially when your genes or age are working against you. I naturally have large pores, oily skin, and uneven pigmentation. Hence my obsession with skincare products since I was a teenager! We can all make the best of what we have by drinking lots of water, getting enough sleep, wearing sunblock, and exfoliating regularly. 
6. Get a flattering haircut and keep your hair healthy - This doesn't have to be high-maintenance. Regardless of your hair color or texture, get it trimmed regularly, find the right products for your hair type, and keep it clean. Get consultation on the best hair shape for your face shape. I have a round face, so I always get face-framing layers. 
7. Keep your nails neat and clean - Dirty, unkept nails and shoes are distracting and off-putting. Don't forget your toenails when wearing open-toed shoes. This doesn't have to be expensive; I've never gotten a professional manicure/pedicure. Just cut them regularly. 
8. Keep your shoes clean - This shows self-respect and good hygiene overall. Avoid uncomfortable shoes that make you walk funny or wince. 
9. Wear a pleasant scent (not too strong) - Smelling good subconsciously helps people have a more positive impression of you, but don't overdo it or you'll give them a headache and negative impression. If you don't wear scents, at the very least wear deodorant and not emit body odor!
10. Speak clearly and not too softly/loudly - You want to be heard and understood, but not make people stand back or have to work too hard to hear you. Speaking at a comfortable volume puts people at ease. 
11. Give genuine compliments - When you notice something you like or admire about someone, simply let them know in a pleasant way. It doesn't have to be gushy or awkward, but it'll make people feel good about themselves and about you. 
12. Be a good listener and read/watch/listen to interesting things - This is the conversational part that can attract people to you even if you're not the prettiest/handsomest person in the room. Don't go around spouting random facts, it's still important to pay attention to what others are saying and be present. But the more you know, the more interesting tangents and questions you can contribute to the discussion. 
13. Take pictures at flattering angles - Only the slimmest shapely models look good from the front straight on. 
• In whole body shots, turn 45 degrees to the right or left and turn your feet out. If you're female, put your front arm on your hip and bend your front knee to create a more feminine silhouette. Point your toes to lengthen your leg line. Avoid standing with your feet apart or turned in. 
• In selfies, place the camera slightly above forehead level and to the side - it accentuates your jawline and makes your eyes look bigger and brighter. It also hides asymmetries in your face, which most of us have. 
14. Find good lighting - Natural sunlight is best; it boosts serotonin and improves our mood. Avoid shadows from backlighting or direct overhead lighting as well as candle lighting, especially in pictures. Fluorescent lighting tends to give people a sickly pale look. 
15. Use a simple photo filter - I don't mean the glossy artificial ones like on Snapchat that make you look like a cartoon. Just the brightening filter (or "vivid" on iPhones) makes everything look nicer without distorting your looks. 
16. Remember that years from now, you'll look back at this time and realize you had fewer wrinkles ;) - Perspective is important! We are all always aging, so appreciate this moment and take good care of yourself :) 

Effort applied

A lot of attractiveness comes down to cleanliness, neatness, good health, and kindness. Maybe all this shouldn't matter but I find people respond better to me when I put effort into my appearance; it's human nature. So we might as well accept it and make the best of it!

Everything Good in My Life Comes from Music & Dance

I've been doing lots of introspection about the roles that music and dance have played in my life and my heart is full of joy and gratitude. I never intended to do anything professionally with them, but I'm one of the most passionate amateur musicians and dancers you'll ever meet! God has been so good to me and I love seeing how He has both led me to blessings through music and dance, and rewarded my decisions/efforts through music and dance. 

WAYS GOD HAS BLESSED ME THROUGH DANCE & MUSIC

Joining The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (2006)

• Ballroom dance - The Pacific Ballroom Dance Company near my hometown of Federal Way, Washington was founded and managed by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and most of the students were members of The Church. They performed a couple of numbers at my junior year high school talent show in 2005. I was BLOWN AWAY. It looked so glamorous and fun, I'd never seen anything like it outside of the classic old Hollywood musicals I'd been obsessed with since junior high. I begged my parents to let me join the Company my senior year and I got to know a lot of members of the Church who seemed genuine, nice, and happy. 
• Concert & Jazz choirs - My interest in jazz music started with my obsession with old Hollywood musicals and the popular music of early-mid 20th century America. I started trying to learn to sing along and play the songs on the piano. I'd heard my high school Jazz Choir perform at assemblies and they were the most selective choir that regularly toured the West Coast and won awards. So I started with Concert Choir (bigger and less selective) my junior year and got into Jazz Choir my senior year. There were many members of The Church in the choirs, including one I had a big crush on who also happened to be in the top team at Pacific Ballroom. When my gymnastics friend invited me to Church, I found out he went to the same congregation as her so I happily went. He ended up marrying another ballroom friend but I fell in love with the gospel of Jesus Chris and got baptized on my 18th birthday. 

Jazz Choir performing at graduation (2nd from right)

Going to Brigham Young University (2006) & getting scholarships

• Ballroom dance - Since all the Pacific Ballroom instructors graduated from BYU's ballroom program - the biggest and best collegiate program in the world - I obviously had to go there and learn for myself. Sure, BYU provides a rigorous high quality education in many fields and has a wonderfully wholesome environment built on the standards of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but I didn't come to appreciate those until after I arrived on campus. My main objective was to get the best ballroom dance education I could (and find a husband, see more about that below) and I did. I was able to take 34 dance classes which included almost 4 years performing on the ballroom company, compete in Dancesport, and volunteer as a teaching assistant for social dance classes. I also earned some small dance scholarships thanks to generous dance alumni. 

My first semester on the ballroom team (far right)

Meeting my now-husband John (2018)

• BYU Ballroom Dance Company - I always hoped I'd meet my future husband through dance at BYU, and I did but I didn't know it! John and I were on the same team for 1 year but never danced with each other or really even talked to each other because we were always assigned to different routines (he to Standard dances, me to Latin dances). We both graduated in 2011 and moved to opposite coasts for grad school, then different states for work afterwards, but got reacquainted on our college campus in Utah serendipitously (or I'd like to think through providence) during the week of my 30th birthday in 2018. God has a sense of humor and impeccable planning!
• Salsa dancing - I wanted to go salsa dancing on my birthday but couldn't find anyone to go with me so when I ran into him, I randomly invited him to come later that night even though I couldn't really imagine him salsa dancing and didn't expect him to say yes, but he accepted and asked for my number. I immediately didn't want to seem like I was asking him on a date so I gave it to him but said I'd meet him there. He showed up and actually danced! We caught up a bit on life and he walked me to my car.
• CNCO lyrics - He was due to return to Texas in 2 days so I didn't expect anything to come of our meeting but I asked him to help me learn the lyrics to a song by the Latin boy band I was obsessed with because he has 2 degrees in Spanish. He agreed and asked me to meet up for frozen custard that night and I thought "why not?" Not knowing it'd turn out to be a date! But he did teach me the lyrics, which he was somewhat scandalized by haha. 
• Dance cruise - 2 months later, we'd been getting to know each other thru texting and I was curious to see him again but didn't know how to arrange it without seeming forward because I was still dating other guys trying to find a husband. I'd bought tickets to Aventura Latin dance cruise 6 months earlier which was leaving from Orange County, California to Mexico. I bought return tickets a day after the cruise ended because it was cheaper and was trying to figure out how to make the most of that time. It turned out that John had lived there for graduate school and had lots of family/friends there and I dropped the idea that it'd be fun if he could be my tour guide, and he agreed to meet me out there for a day! We had dinner with his aunt and uncle where he sang while I accompanied on piano. I was shocked and excited but trying to play it cool and not expect anything but it became the turning point in our relationship and I told my friend after I got back that "I think I just spent the weekend with my future husband." I was absolutely amazed by God's advanced planning to have us meet up during these very brief windows, all because I love music and dancing. We got married 7 months later...

Seems very appropriate that my first cruise was a Latin dance one

Lifelong friends

• Jazz choirs, ballroom dance teams/socials/classes/camps/cruise - I try to make collect friends wherever I go, but it's obviously easier to deepen friendships when you see someone regularly doing something you both love! So many of my close friends are from dance and music experiences. And even though most of us have entered a different stage of life - from carefree single adventurous partiers to busy parents/spouses - our ties endure, and hopefully we can reconnect through music and dance again in the future. 

WAYS GOD HAS REWARDED ME WITH MUSIC & DANCE

Teaching

I'm a teacher at heart. I work hard to learn knowledge and skills in things I'm passionate about, and I love sharing them with others. In all the places I've lived since college (Utah, DC, NYC, Texas), I've had opportunities to teach couples or classes basic dance steps and techniques. They've all been one-time or short term lessons; I haven't had the interest, time, or opportunities to teach permanently thus far and that's ok with me. 

• Utah @ BYU - I volunteered as a teaching assistant for 3 social dance classes in the evenings.
• DC - Offered dance classes at the ward service auction and taught swing, foxtrot & cha cha at the church building.
• NYC - Was asked to teach the National Dance Day hip hop routine for Family Home Evening at the church building. Traded waltz lessons for guitar accompaniment and conga drum lessons with Columbia music education students. Also offered dance classes at the ward service auction and taught waltz.
• Texas - Was invited to teach Latin dance classes (salsa, bachata, rumba, cha cha, samba) for the women's organization at church in 2 congregations.
  

  

  I got the chance to take a conga lesson in exchange for teaching waltz in NYC. 

  
  

  

  One of the Latin dance classes I taught the women at church in Texas

Performing

I've always taken opportunities to perform because I like getting just outside my comfort zone and practicing to get it as close to perfection as I can, which is always very far off. I'm really not the best performer but I enjoy it so much and I feel like it improves my skills each time.  

• Utah @ BYU - As a student, lots of performances on and off campus with the ballroom dance team over 4 years, and at every church talent show. I've also sang at BYU's Got Talent and with BYU's jazz choir on campus. As a full-time employee, open mic nights at the campus cafe and friend's house parties. 

  

  BYU's ballroom teams performed at the Homecoming parade each year :)

  
  

  

  I got to perform with the BYU Vocal Jazz Ensemble for a year

  
  
• DC - Broadway dance camp at Joy of Motion Dance Center and National Dance Day at the Kennedy Center.
• NYC - With a salsa dance group at Alvin Ailey Studios. Piano/voice at church talent shows & Christmas concert, nightclub open mic nights at nightclubs and friends' apartments, and Columbia's Music Education Department recitals every semester. I also lipsynced a rap at a church showcase haha.  

  

  I played piano jazz versions of Christmas songs at my church concert

  
  
• Texas - Piano solo and choir accompaniment at church Christmas programs. 

Graduate School Jobs

• Proximity to concert hall - When I was working on my first 2 masters programs at George Washington University (I dropped out of both), I found a full-time job on campus with tuition benefits. Campus happened to be a 10 minute walk from the gorgeous John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts which had daily free concerts after work! I walked to many performances there, paid and free. 
• Musical benefits - When I was admitted into my 3rd masters program at Columbia University (which I completed!), I needed another full-time job on campus that offered tuition benefits and a flexible schedule so I could take classes during the day. God had delivered before at GWU, so I was praying for another miracle. Not only did He grant my prayers, He went above and beyond by giving me a job in the Music Education department amongst passionate musicians where I managed over a dozen Steinway pianos I was free to play on (and recorded dozens of Youtube covers), jammed with other musicians, got free singing lessons, performed in recitals each semester, and did my first paid performances in the hallway. I was blown away all the time by God's generosity. I grew so much as a musician during those 2 years working as a secretary. 

Moving to DC 

• Jazz clubs - One of the main reasons I chose DC for graduate school was its rich jazz music history. It has a substantial African American population from the Great Migration of the early 20th century, which helped carry jazz from its Southern origins in New Orleans. As an American history and music nerd, I loved living there for 2 years. 



Bohemian Cavern was definitely my favorite. Sadly it closed in 2016 after 90 years.



• National Dance Day - While walking through the National Mall one hot summer day, I stumbled upon a small pop-up stage of dance performances celebrating National Dance Day! I was shocked I'd never heard of it and learned that it was a new holiday proposed by congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. Then I found that the Dizzy Feet Foundation put out a simple routine every year for people to learn around the country and share their versions on social media. I participated in 2013 (Lincoln Memorial), 2014 (Coney Island), 2015 (Columbia University), 2016 (Van Cortland Park). In 2013, I got to perform a Broadway dance routine at Kennedy Center during the National Dance Day festival!

One of my proudest most surreal dance performances - a simple routine in scorching heat

• New genres - I wanted to explore types outside of the partner dances I'd learned in college (ballroom, swing, salsa, country) and was happy to try hip hop, capoeira, African, Motown, Broadway, and blues dancing at different studios in DC. I chronicled all my experiences in my dance blog. Some of them were fun and freeing, others were humbling and stressful. But I love getting outside my comfort zone and growing as a dancer. 
• Summer Stock - Feeling so adult, I used my vacation days to take a whole week off for a dance camp at the Joy of Motion Dance Center. I was so excited to dedicate all day everyday to learning a couple routines from real Broadway shows, neither of which I had seen nor was interested in (Kinky Boots & Pippin) but I'd always wanted to try musical theater. We performed them at the end of the week at the showcase for all the dance camps at the studio, and I was grateful to the couple friends who came to support. 

Moving to NYC

Growing up watching movies and old musicals, New York City was where all the excitement and adventure happened. I was finally ready to live there myself after 2 years in DC and I wanted to soak up as much culture, diversity, and history before I settled down in marriage and parenthood. And I'm so glad I did!

• Broadway - I'd only been to NYC once growing up, and only for a day or so in 7th grade before I became fascinated by all it had to offer. My enchantment with musical theater was one of the reasons I moved there for graduate school and I've gone to 24 Broadway musicals since! I also took dozens of Broadway dance classes at various studios throughout Manhattan, particularly the Ailey Extension and Broadway Dance Center from experienced dance teachers - inspiring and intimidating, empowering and humbling. 

  

  One of my favorite old movie musicals was revived on Broadway in 2015!

  
  
• Salsa, swing & hustle dance clubs - I discovered Latin social dancing my first year at BYU and learned that NYC was where the dance form - like swing and hustle - was created in the melting pot of the city. I wanted to dance with the best social dancers in the places where these genres were created. Many clubs had long since closed down but there was still a thriving scene that I reveled in between working full-time, going to grad school part-time, church activities, and dating! 



I performed in a salsa intensive at Alvin Ailey Studios my 1st summer in NYC



• Jazz music - NYC is obviously a huge arts capital for many genres of music, and I was most attracted to jazz, particularly in connection with African American history. I wanted to explore the historic neighborhood of Harlem, where my church building happened to be, and the famous old haunts downtown. I got to go to the small holes in the wall like the Village Vanguard and the grand theaters like Carnegie Hall, from historic haunts like the Apollo Theater to sparkling new venues like Jazz at Lincoln Center. It was such a rich period of music immersion in my life. 

  

  Went to Radio City Music Hall for multiple shows including the Rockettes - probably my favorite venue
  
  

• Dance Parades - Every May, I went downtown to watch the most amazing collection of dancers from all cultures, ages, and genres dance down the street. 
• Meeting Annie Ross - I went to 36 concerts in NYC in venues of all sizes and ages, but it was a special treat getting to talk to and meet a couple of famous musicians I'd admired for years. For example, I talked to the legend Annie Ross, age 85 (died at 90), in the lobby of the Metropolitan Room (now closed) when we both came early for her intimate performance. I asked her what she liked to do besides sing and she said cook! 

  

  One of the many surreal NYC moments I had *pinching myself in case I'm dreaming*

  
  
• Music friends - While working as a secretary at Columbia's Music Education program, I loved getting to know the musician students, some of whom would generously agree to jam with me (play their instrument while I sang or played piano) and invite me to their shows off campus. A few of the alumni had formed a jazz trio that performed on a little boat cruise around Manhattan and they got me on for free a couple times! They also accompanied the New York University Gospel Choir, which music I LOVED.  

  

  Water + jazz + new friends = JOY

  
  

  

  Can't deny the electrifying power of a gospel choir

  
  
• Open Mic Nights - At some point, I decided to brave performing my piano/vocal covers in front of a live audience instead of just to my phone camera for Youtube or busy passersby in the Columbia University hallways, so I looked up bars that held open mic nights and signed up for a couple. It was not spectacular but I loved pushing myself this way. 

Moving back to Utah

After 3.5 years living my dream in NYC, I decided I needed to move back to Utah.

• Social Dance 480 - I got a full-time job at BYU and loved being back on the bustling campus of my alma mater. One of the many benefits was being able to take classes for free! I still looked like a student so I could blend in but always felt awkward when people asked me my major and I had to tell them I'm a full-time staff advisor. As a student majoring in American Studies, I took 34 dance classes. My favorite was advanced social dancing which had different dances and routines every semester, so I decided to take that again with my former coach. It was so fun!
• Winning 1st place in Hustle at Dancesport - I've never been an excellent dancer, just a very passionate and enthusiastic one. But the semester I took Social Dance 480 was the US National Amateur Dancesport Championships that was held on campus every year, and we WON! I'd lucked out with a hardworking and fun partner and we'd practiced hours outside of class to perfect our routine and lead/follow. I've only gotten a couple participation trophies in the past and was astounded to get 1st place with my partner who was equally thrilled. I thought it was a bit unfair because I'd actually had a lot of real hustle dancing experience in NYC at nightclubs with excellent hustle dancers, while all the other student competitors had only spent a couple months practicing it in class with each other, but I wasn't going to give up my trophy! 

  

  Another dance highlight of my life!

Finding my husband

After I left college unmarried, I gave up hope of finding anyone who shared my interests/knowledge/abilities in ballroom dance, much less jazz music. Those are just not common things people of my generation are into! But God surprised me once again with John.

• Jazz aficionado - John played in jazz band growing up and has a deep knowledge and appreciation for jazz music. It's one of the genres we agree on. I've never met another non-professional musician who knows more artists and songs than I do! A live jazz band was one of our must-haves at our wedding, and we were able to hire a mutual ballroom dance friend to sing. 
• Performing ballroom dance - We got to perform a foxtrot to the live band at our wedding. And perform a waltz at my aunt's 75th birthday party the same year, using steps we'd refreshed in the Social Dance 380 dance we took together at BYU when he also got a job on campus. God is amazing! 

Becoming a mother

Being a mom is by far the hardest job I've ever had, and I've had more than 20. To my wonderful surprise, my toddler loves music and dance as much as I do!

• Singing - She sings nonstop and learns songs super fast. Once she learns it, she'll start changing the lyrics to make herself and us laugh. 
• Dancing - She loves to dance and I put her in dance classes as soon as she turned 2. 

Basically, I know that God cares about our individual unique interests and talents. If we stay close to Him and counsel with Him about big life decisions, He will guide us to great joy. He has given us talents to enjoy and to bless others, and He will also bless us with our talents. I look forward to what else He has in store...

Cool Social Media Opportunities

Like many people, I have an ambivalent relationship with social media.

• On the one hand, it can exacerbate FOMO, social comparison, distraction, procrastination, insomnia, and inauthentic public images.
• On the other hand, it keeps me connected with friends/family/acquaintances far and wide, updated on the latest trends/news, and entertains me with amusing content. 

After going on many social media "fasts" ranging from a week to 40 days (for Lent one year, I'm not Catholic), I've concluded that social media is worth it because it has opened the doors to incredible opportunities that I would not have otherwise. Once I got past the initial question in my head of "Would this be weird if I just reached out to them directly?" talking to strangers I admired became a blessing. 

Here are some examples of exciting opportunities I've had that came from my involvement on social media...

1) Meeting Photographer Jordan Matter at the New York Art Expo (September 2015) - An ex-boyfriend gave me the book Dancers Among Us when I first moved to NYC. I'd already been following Jordan Matter's work for a few months. I was in awe of the beauty and creativity of his photography of dancers in everyday scenes. One time, he had a challenge for people to send in their own pictures of dancing in everyday life and I sent mine in. It got featured on his account!! I was so excited/honored/in awe. I've since taken LOTS of such pics of myself doing dance poses in random places (Instagram account @lindanceflor - my maiden name is Flores). 

I also found out he was going to be at the New York Art Expo and I got to meet him and take this pic of his book!! 

2) Being featured in the Harlem Photo Contest for Teachers College, Columbia University (February 2016) - While I was a graduate student at Columbia University, my college had a photo contest of students throughout Harlem, the neighborhood Teachers College is in. I took a simple dance pose after church one day and it got featured on their account! 

3) Attending a handstand workshop in Brooklyn by Adrian McCavitt (October 2016) - I originally got Instagram to follow certain people I found funny or inspiring. One person was a master of handstands. Adrian McCavitt posts pics of him in breathtaking handstands of all shapes. Having been a handstand enthusiast since I was a child, I actually found classes at circus school and yoga studios that specifically taught handstand technique. I was so excited when I saw he was hosting a master class in Brooklyn one Saturday morning. I didn't have any plans (very unlike me) so I took a long subway ride down from Washington Heights and attended the class in absolute awe. Here's my blog post about it. 

Since moving out of New York City, surviving the COVID pandemic, and having a baby...my interactions with non-family/friends on social media are mostly with authors of books that really move me. Most recently, I wrote this blog post about Simu Liu's memoir We Were Dreamers and messaged him the link on Instagram. We'll see if he ever responds! 

Non-Obvious But Super Helpful Items for New Moms

As a 1st time mom, you never really know exactly what you'll need once baby arrives. 

Despite everyone's well-meaning advice and endless lists of "must-haves" online, you may end up buying stuff that prove useless and not even know about something that could make your life so much easier. 

Here are issues I struggled with after giving birth and the items (hyperlinked for easy ordering) that I found to be super helpful. No, I'm not getting paid to promote these items.

1) Sore arms and back from holding baby for long periods of breastfeeding

My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow - Lots of versions, I actually got gifted another nursing pillow that didn't wrap around but I wish I'd gotten this one!

2) Painful sitting while healing from giving vaginal birth

Donut Pillow - So helpful because you'll be sitting a lot. And it's easy to bring with you around the house.

3) Dreading the hassle of using an electric breast pump

Haakaa Manual Pump - I absolutely hate the hassle of assembling, maneuvering, washing, and drying electric breast pump parts. This is useful for collecting some breastmilk to relieve engorgement when you don't want to pump and are unable to feed the baby (if you're away from home, baby is sleeping, etc.) OR to collect breastmilk on one side while you're feeding the baby on the other side. This is a simple convenient lightweight one-piece pump that was super useful. 

4) Painful nipples from starting breastfeeding (makes it hard to wear bras or clothes)

Silverette Nursing Cups - Magic metal shields that help your sore bloody cracked nipples heal between feedings. Forget the nipple creams, those just wipe off easily. They do look weird under clothes so wear loose tops but you'll likely only need these for a few weeks.

5) Leaking breastmilk through your clothes

Nursing bra pads - You'll only need these for a few weeks until your milk supply regulates but they will be so useful in the meantime! Remember to change them often enough so you don't get infections. If you're leaking a lot of milk, use the Haakaa to collect it instead so you can save it for later. There are disposable and reusable versions. 

6) Constant risk of waking the baby

White Noise Machine - Lots of versions. This will also help the baby fall asleep, especially if you need to do things that make noise. But be sure to keep it at a safe volume and distance from the baby (check the box and download a decibel reader on your phone). Super convenient because it can use batteries and be portable. 

7) Fear of dropping or drowning the baby while bathing in the sink or bathtub

Baby Bath Tub - Lots of versions. Find a version that'll adapt to your growing baby so you don't have to buy more than one before they can use the regular tub. Worth the money to save on the stress of hurting your baby while bathing them. 

8) Baby's fast-growing nails that they scratch themselves with

Baby Nail Clippers - Lots of fancy versions (including electric ones) but I found I could get by with the simple version if someone else distracts the baby - much easier with 2 people! 

9) Newfound boredom and cluelessness about what to do with your baby all day

BabySparks subscription - Lots of baby apps out there but I didn't bother looking through a million. This one is expert-led and affordable (they usually have a promo code). You won't need this for the first couple months but then I used it everyday until my baby learned to crawl. 

10) Not knowing what toys are appropriate and optimal for each stage of baby's development

Lovevery playkit - Awesome company that sends you a box of Montessori toys every 2-3 months but you can start with one playkit. It's $80 every 2 months until age 1, $120 every 3 months after age 1 - so it averages out to $40/month, which is way less than what I was spending just researching on my own and ordering various toys on Amazon. The toys are great quality, beautiful, work well together, and teach your child useful skills. I love that none of them require batteries or make obnoxious noises. 

I'm sure this list could be updated often with all the amazing resources and items that are constantly being created for babies and new parents. But don't feel pressured by any of it. These are just suggestions that were helpful to me. You may not need any of it or need totally different things. Babies do grow up pretty fast so think about what's useful to you now and what will have lasting value. 

Honest Thoughts of Pre-Motherhood

A lot goes through the mind of a mother-to-be. I wanted to capture this shortening time in my life before it changes forever. In no particular order, here are the many thoughts I have about my impending motherhood!

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I can't believe that this time next year, I'll have a child. I can't believe this will be our last Christmas/Valentine's Day/Wedding Anniversary/Birthday/etc. as a childless couple. It's so crazy that parenthood is one of those things that once you enter, you can never back out again. Lord help us. 

I hope we can have our 2nd and last child soon after our 1st so I can get a PhD and go back to a full-time career ASAP. How will I stay professionally active for 8 years while I'm taking a break from a full-time job? How will I get strong letters of recommendation for my application to a PhD program? I wonder how higher ed will change in the next 8 years and what flexible degree options will open up? I wonder how my professional interests will change over the next 8 years. How will I schedule coaching clients around my baby's breastfeeding and napping schedule? How will I maintain and evolve my personal brand when I'm no longer a full-time career advisor? How will I stay current on the latest career news, best practices, and technology? I wonder what marvelous surprises God has in store. 

I can't wait to see what our half Chinese, half Caucasian children will look like. I hope they have [my husband's] long eye lashes. The most important things I want for them are healthy bodies and strong minds, good looks are a bonus. 

I'm going to miss sleeping in on weekends. I hope I can figure out the sleep training thing quickly. It is amazing that I haven't sleeping as well but still feeling alert and energetic during the day - it must be my body preparing me to function with sleep deprivation! 

Remember, Linda, women for all of human history have given birth - many multiple times - and done so without how-to books, doctors, epidurals, and lots of other modern comforts and conveniences. If they can survive it, you certainly can. Your female body was designed to do this. You will heal. 

I'm so touched that less than a year after moving to a new state during a socially isolating pandemic, I have 3 women friends who know and like me enough to be eager to throw me a baby shower. How sweet and generous of them!! 

I resent every single portrayal of motherhood as peaceful, clean, neat, beautiful, and perfect. I'm so grateful I live in a time of the greatest transparency and honesty women have ever expressed, much of it due to social media, so I can adjust my expectations to reality. 

I'm SO GRATEFUL I lived it up in my 20s before "settling down" in marriage and motherhood, though I most certainly want to continue "living life to the fullest" (one of my mottos) once I'm a mom. I'm so grateful I have so many amazing memories of adventures in Utah, DC, NYC, and all the places I've traveled to while single and childless. God sure knew what He was doing postponing marriage and motherhood for me until my 30s. I want to continue exploring, learning, and growing. I refuse to resign myself to domestic drudgery, though I know there will be a period of major adjustment at first. 

I'm so annoyed that COVID destroyed our international travel plans before we had a baby. I hope we don't have to wait too long to start traveling for fun after we become parents. I can't wait til more friends and family visit us after COVID and come meet our baby. 

I really hope my COVID vaccine doesn't cause any negative effects in me or my baby. This is uncharted territory for science.

I think in some ways, raising a daughter will be easier for me because I'm not into boyish sports and activities. But I'm also more worried about her safety in a world that is increasingly plagued by the toxic effects of pornography. 

I am really not looking forward to changing diapers for the first time, waking up every couple hours, breastfeeding, pumping breast milk, and having a million new baby things around our clean, neat house. I think I'd like a boy for our 2nd child but it'd be nice if it was a girl so we can reuse a bunch of clothes and stuff. 

I hope I don't get stretch marks, maybe I'll be part of the10% of women who don't! I hope I can lose all the baby weight within a year. 

I'm dreading having to pay a lot more for health insurance once I leave my full-time job with good benefits. 

I wonder who will become our trusted babysitters when we go on date nights. I wonder who will become good playmates for our daughter. 

I'm worried we don't have enough storage space for a 2nd child. 

Man, I'm hungry all the time!! I think about food more than usual. I hope my sugar intake is not too high to cause gestational diabetes. 

I really hope the epidural will go in safely and work because I have a super low pain tolerance. I really hope I don't tear my nether regions. Doesn't peeing and pooping hurt when I'm all torn up down there?!

How in the world do women handle the pain and chaos of having multiple children??

I'm not looking forward to having a dirty car or messy house, and I'm gonna do all I can to prevent that!

I'm so touched that I have friends and family all around the world who are happy for me to become a mom, and think I'll become a good mom! What do they know? haha. I sure hope I'll be and will definitely try to be, but we shall see. 

God and I can get through anything, I know He will help me through parenthood just like He's helped me through every period of my life. I'm grateful He gave me a devoted, hard-working husband. I know he'll be a good father because he works hard to be good at everything he does. 

I'm going to miss the cute clothes that don't fit me anymore. 

I really miss doing handstands and cartwheels. I wonder how long it'll take to regain my strength and balance to do them again. I miss Latin dancing and freely moving my ribs and hips. I wonder how long it'll take for my body to heal and for the pandemic to pass before I can go salsa dancing and country dancing again. I wonder how long it'll take to regain my former dance skills back. 

I really hope my husband and I will be part of the 30% or so whose marriage improves after parenthood, that our marital satisfaction will improve, not decrease. I know we'll have ways of parenting we'll disagree on but we'll get through with prayers for God's help. 

Why do new moms always talk about how hard it is to find time to shower, go to the bathroom, and wash their hair. Omygosh will these simple grooming tasks become rare with children?!

I'm grateful my mom and mother-in-law are willing to come help when the baby is born. I hope we don't clash too much in our ways of doing things. 

How do we raise children who will develop a deep testimony of God, Jesus Christ, and the Gospel? How can we adequately train them to discern and heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost and avoid all the traps of Satan? How we will teach them what we believe is right while not judging others' choices? 

I really want my children to speak Mandarin and appreciate their Chinese heritage. How am I going to improve my Mandarin so I can teach it to them? I hope my grandparents live long enough for me to take my children back to China to meet them. 

I want my children to try lots of different activities but I'm not looking forward to chauffeuring them everywhere. 

I know my husband will want them to do things in the yard with him. How am I going to protect them from mosquitoes and fleas, and keep them from bringing bugs inside?

How will I stay socially active and avoid isolation? It was always hard to meet up with my friends who became moms when their children were young. 

I wonder how long I can keep up dyeing my gray hairs every 2 months. I definitely don't want to let myself go in my appearance and health. 

I can't wait to have my day hours free from a full-time job so I can take our baby to explore parks, museums, and other places around town. I'm excited to introduce our baby to different foods, music genres, movies, and places. I hope she will come to appreciate variety in life. Between my husband and me, we'll have so much to share and teach our children. I wonder what we'll learn from them??

It is going to be difficult to keep them from dangerous messages and images online and in the media. I wonder how long we'll be able to put off giving them cellphones. I wonder if there are enough beneficial video games to ever warrant having them in our house. 

I hope we can still go out to eat at restaurants at least once a week after the baby is born, but probably not for the first few months which will be sad because having food delivered is so expensive! 

I'm so glad I have so many friends who've been mothers for years and can give me tips. 

I'm really enjoying my one go-to book Becoming Mama right now, I wonder which book will become my best go-to guide after the baby is born. 

I'm looking forward to all the books I'll read and online classes I'll take while the baby is napping, though I will try not to put too much pressure or expectations on myself. 

I'm excited to see my husband become a girl dad. He's close to the female relatives in his life and I think it'll bring out the softer side of him more. 

How and when are we ever going to agree on a baby name?!

Lessons from My Ex-Boyfriends

This may seem like a strange blog post from someone who is happily married and still in what is considered the "honeymoon stage". But I think it really comes from a deep sense of gratitude. I am very grateful for my ex-boyfriends. I am grateful for the experiences I gained with them and the lessons they taught me. I am also grateful I didn't marry them because I don't think we were good matches for eternity (my religion believes in forever marriages). 

At my wedding, I sang Rascal Flatts' "The Broken Road" because that seems to be a perfect representation of my 12 year search for Mr. Right, my husband. When we were dating, he expressed sorrow for all the pains and heartaches of my dating history. Even though they were awful at the time, I told him I am grateful for those experiences because it softened, humbled, and prepared me to love and appreciate him more than if I'd just met him early on without much hardship. Looking back, I realized God was delaying my marriage to better prepare me for it. 

I want to make it very clear that all of these were excellent men with many admirable qualities. Otherwise, I wouldn't have wanted to be their girlfriend! I respect them and want the very best for each of them, whether they broke my heart or I broke theirs (I'm very sorry). As another Rascal Flatts song says, "My wish for you is this life becomes all that you want it to!" 

Ultimately, it really all comes down to having all 4 C's - 

• Compatibility: Do we share enough similar values, interests, and lifestyle goals?
• Chemistry: Do we have that magnetic attraction to each other?
• Connection: Do we communicate on the same level and understand each other?
• Caring: Do we have a genuine concern for each other and love serving each other?

When I finally found someone with all 4 C's, I married him! 

So here are the valuable lessons I learned from my ex-boyfriends that have led me to my husband. 

***Note: the # of lessons doesn't represent the # of boyfriends I had.

1) Find someone who celebrates your hobbies and talents. Those who know me know that dance is one of my biggest loves. I had an ex who thought that made me boring or one-dimensional, which offended and angered me because I came to dance very late (in high school) and was working hard to catch up with other dancers who got an early start. I was also super annoyed that he didn't see or appreciate my other talents/hobbies. 

2) Find someone who doesn't need your constant approval. I had a really clingy ex who came from divorced parents (so did I) who was very sweet but extremely insecure. He was always doting on me and freaked out if I wasn't happy, which seemed strange to me because my stress/mood wasn't usually because of him. Eventually, I found it too exhausting to constantly reassure him. 

3) Find someone who has good social skills and puts others at ease. For one ex, the red flag became super clear when I realized that I got along with his friends better than he did, he made my friends feel awkward, and my dance partner was way more friendly towards him than he was. I love people and I love meeting new people. I knew I needed to find someone I could take with me anywhere and be socially comfortable. 

4) Find someone can love you in your love language. No matter how much I explained love languages and requested quality time and touch (my top love languages), one ex kept giving me gifts. He was very busy and just dropped off little gifts (my least preferred love language) at my apartment, and it drove me crazy! I hardly saw him and didn't feel connected with him when we were together. I realized how important physical affection and sharing experiences was to me. 

5) Find someone who will champion all the things you want to be besides a mom. I had an ex who grew up with a stay-at-home mom and 4-5 siblings, which he wanted to replicate exactly. I kept emphasizing that I want to be a devoted mom but also have a career. We had a lot of fun together but that was the ultimate deal breaker, and I'm very glad. He found the traditional wife he wanted and I found a man who supports my career progression as well as motherhood. 

6) Find someone you would want to live with. I'm a super clean and neat person (some might call me a germaphobe) and one ex had a filthy, messy car and apartment. It didn't take me long to realize that we would drive each other crazy if we got married!

7) Find someone who brings out the best in you. The longer I was with one ex, the more I didn't like or recognize myself. He brought out ugly sides of me I had never seen. I found myself saying mean hurtful things and picking fights. It took me years to realize that I didn't want to marry him but didn't want to break up with him so I was trying to push him away and break up with me. This was the lowest point in my dating history, full of guilt, shame, and regret. He wouldn't break up with me so I finally broke it off and I think both of our mental health and self-esteem are better off. 

8) Find someone you have insane chemistry with. Physical chemistry is one of the many "necessary but not sufficient" things I was looking for in a husband. Interestingly, there was one ex who I had so little chemistry with that we never even kissed! Nope, I knew I wanted a passionate marriage. 

9) Find someone who makes you laugh a lot. When I met one ex, I was going through a rough transition and he helped relieve so much stress with his ridiculous jokes and texts. It lightened my burdens and helped me heal faster. He caused me to move "sense of humor" higher up on my husband wish list. 

10) Find someone who doesn't live in a place where you would be miserable. One long distance ex was living in a state I would never want to live in and later moved back to another state I would never want to live in. I don't know where we would have lived if we had stayed together and I know love can get you through many challenges but I'm so glad I found a husband with whom I found a mutually agreeable state to live in. 

11) Find someone who isn't intimidated by your accomplishments. I met one ex's family pretty soon after we started dating and the more I shared about my educational/career background, the more distant he became. A friend who met him later told me she could see how intimidated he felt by me, which was obviously not my intention. I'd dated other guys who celebrated and encouraged my goals/dreams so I knew what that felt like and I didn't want to settle for anything less than a confident proud cheerleader. 

12) Find someone who God approves of for you. I've only had one ex who God directly told me NOT to date...multiple times. As soon as we became exclusive, I had a huge knot in my chest that didn't go away until we broke up a few weeks later. And every time I wanted to get back together with him, God gave me a firm "No, date other guys." It was amazing how clear and consistent that directive was. When I met my husband, the contrast floored me. I felt an unmistakable peace from God that my search was over and I understood why God kept me from dating my ex. 

13) Find someone who has a relationship with their family you would want to be a part of. I've always been very independent from my family, moving hundreds of miles away after high school but very loyal in calling and visiting. One ex was extremely attached to his family, physically and emotionally. He became hesitant to do things with me without them. I'd always wanted to marry into a big family within my religion and he had that, but the level of closeness felt stifling and excessive. 

14) Find someone who is a gentleman and treats you like a queen. I guess I'm one of those old-fashioned feminists. I believe in equal rights and opportunities for women and men, but I still like it when men act chivalrously and take the lead (probably because I'm a ballroom dancer). I understand that being a gentleman (opening doors, letting ladies go first, helping carry things, etc.) mostly comes from individual upbringings and not every guy was taught those courtesies. I feel the difference. 

15) Find someone who hates some of the same lifestyle things you hate. Pets and video games - I knew these were loved by the vast majority of men my age and I would compromise if I absolutely had to (if the guy was ultra stellar in every other way) but I was still on the lookout for someone who didn't want those things in our home. I eventually found my unicorn! My husband also happens to hate camping, snow/ice, and clutter *swoon*. 

16) Find someone who doesn't have "Yellow Fever". I've had several exes who I think were initially attracted to me because they served missions in Asian countries and became attracted to Asian girls. There's a strong stereotype that Asian girls are submissive and dainty. I am not those things and those exes quickly grew to understand that! I don't want to be with someone who just likes me because of their perceived generalizations about my race. 

17) Find someone who is crazy about you and never leaves you questioning how they feel about you. An ex actually told me this when he was breaking up with me and of course it was agonizing at the time but later I realized it was a huge gift. He really cared about me as a friend and wanted me to be completely adored by someone, and he was honest when he told me he couldn't be what he felt I deserved. I'm so grateful he let me go...and find my husband. 

BONUS! There are a few lessons from my exes that I still find very useful in my current marriage. 

18) Don't be with someone you need, be with someone you choose to be with. I love this deep lesson that goes against what we often hear in popular media. When an ex said, "I don't need you." I was shocked and offended but he meant it as a great compliment because he was saying he's not codependent or needy, he consciously and intentionally chose to have me in his life. Of course, that relationship didn't work out but I love applying this lesson to my marriage. My husband has many strengths and abilities I lack which at times makes me uncomfortable with the thought of becoming dependent on him (Miss Independent here). I never want to feel like I'm only with my husband because I can't function or figure out life on my own, and I never want to make him that dependent on me. I want a marriage of 2 functional, independent adults who are not afraid to be alone and only choose to be together because of love, shared values, and commitment to our marriage covenants. 

19) Observe and accept, don't judge or try to control. I didn't learn this from an ex but from God while I was with that ex. I have strong natural tendencies to judge and control others, which always frustrate myself and others in romantic relationships. I'm constantly trying to fight these tendencies. With my new venture into mindfulness, I was determined to be more accepting and at peace. I had to constantly remind myself that I wasn't married to that guy so all I had to do was observe his natural state and decide if I wanted to be with him instead of trying to mold him into my version of a perfect man. Now that I'm married, this core principle still applies. Because I married an independent, self-sufficient man, I drive both of us crazy when I try to change or control him to become something I want. I have to remind myself that I would also hate it if he was constantly trying to change or control me. So I try to suggest and influence by example but respect his decisions to do as he sees fit. I know his deep love for me and God so I have to trust his intentions are for our best interest. 

My husband and I are not perfect (obviously) and neither is our marriage (duh) but I know he is perfect for me. He balances me out in many ways and helps me become the woman God would have me be.

Looking back, I'm grateful God didn't give me what I wanted (to get married young) because He knows me better than I know myself. He knows that - 

• I learn best by experience, which is sometimes painful
• I needed to fully discover my own personality/values/passions/weaknesses
• I needed to develop a closer relationship with Him and increase my trust in Him
• I needed to prove the power of Christ's Atonement to heal and give me "beauty for ashes"
• I often focused on the wrong things to look for in a husband
• I would forever treasure all the friendships, higher education, professional experience, and travels I gained in my 20s that would have never been possible if I had gotten married at 19
• Both my husband and I had a lot of maturing to do before we would reunite years later (we were on the same college dance team) and truly appreciate who each other had become

God is good. 

79 Nostalgic Movies of My Upbringing

I was blessed with a dad who loved movies and bought many of them, in VHS and then in DVD. Just like many of us have a "soundtrack" to our lives of the most meaningful, memorable songs at important times, many of us have a "movie reel" to our lives of the most impactful movies we watched over and over again. It's like our childhood comfort food when life feels uncertain or out of control and adulting is too overwhelming - we can go back to consuming something familiar and enjoyable when life was simpler and we had fewer responsibilities. 

Some context: I moved to the U.S. from China in 1995 at age 7 and graduated high school in 2006, so most of these movies are from within that time period. It took me a couple years to become fluent in English so I enjoyed many of the early movies without really understanding the plot or dialogue. I grew up in the period before internet streaming services so I mostly had access to the videos we owned, except for the occasional store-rented movie and stacks of classic old Hollywood movies I borrowed from the library during high school. Some of these are sequels and I didn't see the original I found them online years later. There are a ton of movies I love that I discovered after high school but 1994-1995 are arguably the best years for movies; they don't make them like they used to! 

Here's the list in chronological order with some commentary: 

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937) - I loved the music and the different personalities of the dwarves.

The Parent Trap (1961) - Great CGI for the time turning Hayley Mills into twins!

The Sound of Music (1965) - My mom watched this many times to learn all the songs and I idolized Julie Andrews.

The Jungle Book (1967) - Americanized exoticism of India with jazz music.

Annie (1982) - Great music and start contrast in settings. Carol Burnett was charismatic and despicable. 

Oliver and Company (1988) - Those animals led exciting lives in the big city!

Coming to America (1988) - The comedic genius of Eddie Murphy could be appreciated even with my limited English comprehension.

The Little Mermaid (1989) - I wanted so bad to be a mermaid and sing as beautifully as Ariel!

Beauty & the Beast (1991) - The talking objects were super fun for me as a kid, and all the songs of course.

Aladdin (1992) - What kid didn't want to ride on a flying carpet? Jasmine's voluminous hair and tiny waist are envy-worthy and totally unrealistic.

Home Alone 2 (1992) - This may have been the beginning of my love affair with New York City. 

Macaulay Culkin is brilliant - favorite child actor hands down.

Sister Act (1992) - My introduction to glorious gospel music. 

Cool Runnings (1993) - Loved their Jamaican accents and the physical comedy.

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) - A perfect movie with great family values underneath the drag. Also a great soundtrack. Absolutely love Robin Williams. RIP. 

Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) - Fascinating animation I'd never seen before and hauntingly beautiful music. 

Baby's Day Out (1994) - The mishaps this baby survives is just amazing. Slapstick humor galore.

The Pagemaster (1994) - Pure fantasy during Macaulay Culkin's golden period. 

The Santa Clause (1994) - A magical yet skeptical portrayal of Christmas traditions. I really liked Eric Lloyd and I love Tim Allen.

Little Giants (1994) - I didn't have any interest in or understanding of football but all the kid characters had such interesting personalities. 

The Little Rascals (1994) - Adorable precocious kids and lots of slapstick humor!

3 Ninjas Strike Back (1994) - Full of funny scenes and quotes I would re-enact with my little brother. I need to watch movies 1 and 3 in this series!

Lion King (1994) - Didn't love the story line but the animation and music are just beautiful. 

Richie Rich (1994) - Vicariously living the high life through him.

The Mask (1994) - The visual special effects were just astounding and Jim Carrey is such a good ham.

The Swan Princess (1994) - Intriguing storyline outside the Disney empire. 

Forrest Gump (1994) - Tom Hanks is such an amazing actor and the soundtrack is so moving. 

Clueless (1995) - Dreaming I'd be as cool of a teenager as Cher. Paul Rudd is dreamy.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995) - Great martial arts with good friends beating intergalactic evil is pure entertainment. 

Balto (1995) - Where I learned about diphtheria and felt sure I never want to live in Alaska. 

A Little Princess (1995) - A British/Indian version of Annie. Sad but with a happy ending and comeuppance for the mean headmistress.

Father of the Bride II (1995) - Another movie with great acting and comedy that I didn't need to understand English to enjoy. Watched the first one and it's great too!

Toy Story (1995) - Just delightful, and so creative. Made me wish I had such cool toys.

Pocahontas (1995) - The first ethnic Disney princess I could kind of relate to, so graceful and brave.

Jumanji (1995) - Slightly terrifying and super entertaining. 

Man of the House (1995) - Great slapstick with the teenager coming out on top and making adults seem like buffoons. 

The Indian in the Cupboard (1995) - Magical to imagine (I never read the book) happening. 

Casper (1995) - Made ghosts less scary, and I was a big fan of Christina Ricci and Devon Sawa. Fabulous soundtrack.

Now and Then (1995) - Fun carefree teenagers with a fiercely loyal friendship and crazy adventures. Also, I totally wanted their treehouse.

A Goofy Movie (1995) - A cross-country roadtrip where they should've died several times, and Big Foot! Fabulous songs.

Waterworld (1995) - What a crazy existence in a post-apocalyptic world without dry land!

Matilda (1996) - She was so cool and so misunderstood. Grateful my parents weren't that mean and clueless. 

Dunston Checks In (1996) - Fun kid adventures in a fancy hotel where the chimp wins!

The Nutty Professor (1996) - Eddie Murphy can really work a fat suit. 

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) - A dark tragedy but I wanted to be as beautiful as Esmeralda.

James and the Giant Peach (1996) - Loved the clay-mation and fantastical adventures, and that his evil aunts got their comeuppance! Never read the book.

Jingle All the Way (1996) - Arnold's accent is amusing in such a modern American context and the ridiculous lengths a father will go to satisfy his kid's commercial desires. 

101 Dalmatians (1996) - Hugh Grant and Glenn Close are delightful to watch. I hadn't seen the old cartoon version. 

Twister (1996) - Tornados seemed like a crazy distant phenomenon from where I grew up in Seattle!

Space Jam (1996) - What even is the plot?! A super silly movie but at least it gave us "I Believe I Can Fly".

Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) - It's always fun to see people adjusting to culture shock in contrasting environments, and I love Tim Allen. 

Liar Liar (1997) - Realizing now this was super inappropriate for kids but I didn't understand all the sex references back then, and Jim Carrey is just so fun to watch!

Hercules (1997) - I watched trailers of this in other movies for months before it came out right after I moved from Guam to Seattle. Absolutely loved all the music and I wanted to be Meg. 

Home Alone 3 (1997) - Totally underrated and just as entertaining as the first 2 in the series. 

Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves (1997) - Crazy to imagine if we had this technology! I'm a Rick Moranis fan. 

Titanic (1997) - I'd barely learned about the Titanic in school, and my mom and I eagerly awaited its release. Getting the 2 VHS set was a special treat!

George of the Jungle (1997) - Brendan Fraser is fun to watch and wow what a treehouse!

The Borrowers (1997) - What if there really are tiny little people taking our stuff around the house?!

Flubber (1997) - Didn't care for the green gloop but I love Robin Williams!

Anastasia (1997) - A really different look from Disney and I kept trying to separate the real history from the cartoon liberties.

Men in Black (1997) - Will Smith is so cool and the aliens were gross but I couldn't look away!

Small Soldiers (1998) - The dark live action version of Toy Story.

The Parent Trap (1998) - Hated Lindsay Lohan's British accent and the song "L-O-V-E" but I loved the story enough to enjoy this remake. 

Mulan (1998) - Finally, an Asian - Chinese! - Disney princess! I asked my mom if Mulan was really that beautiful and she said no one knows, she's kind of a myth.  

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1998) - Jim Carrey acting under all that makeup and costuming is impressive, plus just the magic of seeing everyone and everything in Whoville. 

A Bug's Life (1998) - Really cool animation, kinda gave me sympathy for bugs which I normally hate. 

Prince of Egypt (1998) - Bringing the Bible story to life before I ever joined the LDS Church and read it. 

Tarzan (1999) - Another jungle movie with jazz music...hmm I now see the racist undertones.

Iron Giant (1999) - Totally underappreciated genius in this cartoon story. 

Stuart Little (1999) - Adorable, and everyone/everything is perfectly groomed in this NYC picture book.

Emperor's New Groove (2000) - Endlessly amusing and hilarious with the best characters. So many great quotes.

Road to El Dorado (2000) - A fun dangerous adventure with a couple of carefree buddies. Also great songs.

Miss Congeniality (2000) - I absolutely love Sandra Bullock. Girl power!

Legally Blonde (2001) - This made the Ivy Leagues seem attainable to every girl and showed that a true man will respect and encourage women's intellectual and professional growth!

The Princess Diaries (2001) - I love Julie Andrews. Anne Hathaway took time to grow on me but she did. 

Spy Kids (2001) - This was basically the live action version of The Incredibles. They had cool spy toys.

Spiderman (2002) - A relatable superhero in the glamour and grittiness of NYC. 

A Walk to Remember (2002) - Didn't read this book but I definitely cried when Shane West went to his estranged dad for help with Mandy Moore's illness.

Freaky Friday (2003) - Body trading is always fun to watch. There are lots of movies with this theme. Big (1988) with Tom Hanks is probably my favorite that I later discovered.

Finding Nemo (2003) - I watched this in theaters twice in one week! Fascinating animation and delightful characters. I became a big fan of Ellen DeGeneres.

The Incredibles (2004) - Such a cool family, and great commentary on the importance of finding a career path where your strengths are valued and rewarded!