A lot goes through the mind of a mother-to-be. I wanted to capture this shortening time in my life before it changes forever. In no particular order, here are the many thoughts I have about my impending motherhood!
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I can't believe that this time next year, I'll have a child. I can't believe this will be our last Christmas/Valentine's Day/Wedding Anniversary/Birthday/etc. as a childless couple. It's so crazy that parenthood is one of those things that once you enter, you can never back out again. Lord help us.
I hope we can have our 2nd and last child soon after our 1st so I can get a PhD and go back to a full-time career ASAP. How will I stay professionally active for 8 years while I'm taking a break from a full-time job? How will I get strong letters of recommendation for my application to a PhD program? I wonder how higher ed will change in the next 8 years and what flexible degree options will open up? I wonder how my professional interests will change over the next 8 years. How will I schedule coaching clients around my baby's breastfeeding and napping schedule? How will I maintain and evolve my personal brand when I'm no longer a full-time career advisor? How will I stay current on the latest career news, best practices, and technology? I wonder what marvelous surprises God has in store.
I can't wait to see what our half Chinese, half Caucasian children will look like. I hope they have [my husband's] long eye lashes. The most important things I want for them are healthy bodies and strong minds, good looks are a bonus.
I'm going to miss sleeping in on weekends. I hope I can figure out the sleep training thing quickly. It is amazing that I haven't sleeping as well but still feeling alert and energetic during the day - it must be my body preparing me to function with sleep deprivation!
Remember, Linda, women for all of human history have given birth - many multiple times - and done so without how-to books, doctors, epidurals, and lots of other modern comforts and conveniences. If they can survive it, you certainly can. Your female body was designed to do this. You will heal.
I'm so touched that less than a year after moving to a new state during a socially isolating pandemic, I have 3 women friends who know and like me enough to be eager to throw me a baby shower. How sweet and generous of them!!
I resent every single portrayal of motherhood as peaceful, clean, neat, beautiful, and perfect. I'm so grateful I live in a time of the greatest transparency and honesty women have ever expressed, much of it due to social media, so I can adjust my expectations to reality.
I'm SO GRATEFUL I lived it up in my 20s before "settling down" in marriage and motherhood, though I most certainly want to continue "living life to the fullest" (one of my mottos) once I'm a mom. I'm so grateful I have so many amazing memories of adventures in Utah, DC, NYC, and all the places I've traveled to while single and childless. God sure knew what He was doing postponing marriage and motherhood for me until my 30s. I want to continue exploring, learning, and growing. I refuse to resign myself to domestic drudgery, though I know there will be a period of major adjustment at first.
I'm so annoyed that COVID destroyed our international travel plans before we had a baby. I hope we don't have to wait too long to start traveling for fun after we become parents. I can't wait til more friends and family visit us after COVID and come meet our baby.
I really hope my COVID vaccine doesn't cause any negative effects in me or my baby. This is uncharted territory for science.
I think in some ways, raising a daughter will be easier for me because I'm not into boyish sports and activities. But I'm also more worried about her safety in a world that is increasingly plagued by the toxic effects of pornography.
I am really not looking forward to changing diapers for the first time, waking up every couple hours, breastfeeding, pumping breast milk, and having a million new baby things around our clean, neat house. I think I'd like a boy for our 2nd child but it'd be nice if it was a girl so we can reuse a bunch of clothes and stuff.
I hope I don't get stretch marks, maybe I'll be part of the10% of women who don't! I hope I can lose all the baby weight within a year.
I'm dreading having to pay a lot more for health insurance once I leave my full-time job with good benefits.
I wonder who will become our trusted babysitters when we go on date nights. I wonder who will become good playmates for our daughter.
I'm worried we don't have enough storage space for a 2nd child.
Man, I'm hungry all the time!! I think about food more than usual. I hope my sugar intake is not too high to cause gestational diabetes.
I really hope the epidural will go in safely and work because I have a super low pain tolerance. I really hope I don't tear my nether regions. Doesn't peeing and pooping hurt when I'm all torn up down there?!
How in the world do women handle the pain and chaos of having multiple children??
I'm not looking forward to having a dirty car or messy house, and I'm gonna do all I can to prevent that!
I'm so touched that I have friends and family all around the world who are happy for me to become a mom, and think I'll become a good mom! What do they know? haha. I sure hope I'll be and will definitely try to be, but we shall see.
God and I can get through anything, I know He will help me through parenthood just like He's helped me through every period of my life. I'm grateful He gave me a devoted, hard-working husband. I know he'll be a good father because he works hard to be good at everything he does.
I'm going to miss the cute clothes that don't fit me anymore.
I really miss doing handstands and cartwheels. I wonder how long it'll take to regain my strength and balance to do them again. I miss Latin dancing and freely moving my ribs and hips. I wonder how long it'll take for my body to heal and for the pandemic to pass before I can go salsa dancing and country dancing again. I wonder how long it'll take to regain my former dance skills back.
I really hope my husband and I will be part of the 30% or so whose marriage improves after parenthood, that our marital satisfaction will improve, not decrease. I know we'll have ways of parenting we'll disagree on but we'll get through with prayers for God's help.
Why do new moms always talk about how hard it is to find time to shower, go to the bathroom, and wash their hair. Omygosh will these simple grooming tasks become rare with children?!
I'm grateful my mom and mother-in-law are willing to come help when the baby is born. I hope we don't clash too much in our ways of doing things.
How do we raise children who will develop a deep testimony of God, Jesus Christ, and the Gospel? How can we adequately train them to discern and heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost and avoid all the traps of Satan? How we will teach them what we believe is right while not judging others' choices?
I really want my children to speak Mandarin and appreciate their Chinese heritage. How am I going to improve my Mandarin so I can teach it to them? I hope my grandparents live long enough for me to take my children back to China to meet them.
I want my children to try lots of different activities but I'm not looking forward to chauffeuring them everywhere.
I know my husband will want them to do things in the yard with him. How am I going to protect them from mosquitoes and fleas, and keep them from bringing bugs inside?
How will I stay socially active and avoid isolation? It was always hard to meet up with my friends who became moms when their children were young.
I wonder how long I can keep up dyeing my gray hairs every 2 months. I definitely don't want to let myself go in my appearance and health.
I can't wait to have my day hours free from a full-time job so I can take our baby to explore parks, museums, and other places around town. I'm excited to introduce our baby to different foods, music genres, movies, and places. I hope she will come to appreciate variety in life. Between my husband and me, we'll have so much to share and teach our children. I wonder what we'll learn from them??
It is going to be difficult to keep them from dangerous messages and images online and in the media. I wonder how long we'll be able to put off giving them cellphones. I wonder if there are enough beneficial video games to ever warrant having them in our house.
I hope we can still go out to eat at restaurants at least once a week after the baby is born, but probably not for the first few months which will be sad because having food delivered is so expensive!
I'm so glad I have so many friends who've been mothers for years and can give me tips.
I'm really enjoying my one go-to book Becoming Mama right now, I wonder which book will become my best go-to guide after the baby is born.
I'm looking forward to all the books I'll read and online classes I'll take while the baby is napping, though I will try not to put too much pressure or expectations on myself.
I'm excited to see my husband become a girl dad. He's close to the female relatives in his life and I think it'll bring out the softer side of him more.
How and when are we ever going to agree on a baby name?!
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