What I Miss About BYU, and What I Don't

Faked a smile for the camera but inside I was crying "Can't I serve/learn/dance here forever?"

I got baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on my 18th birthday, days before I excitedly took off to Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. It was there that I -

• was socialized into Utah Mormon culture
• got an amazing education through gospel lenses (including required scriptural classes and prayers in class)
• started dating - along with all the hope, disappointment, joy, hurt, confusion, and awkwardness
• figured out "what I wanted to be when I grew up" and got my first full-time job with benefits
• learned the joy of service by volunteering my time and talents
• explored my passions in dance and music
• enriched and solidified my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and His Church

My world for 5.5 years

This was where I grew up and I will always think of those years in Provo as the most formative years of my adult life before I set off to try life in the East Coast cities (see blog post). I was so sad on graduation day because I knew all I would leave behind and how much I would miss it. I still do, but I knew I had to "go forth and serve" as it says on one of the campus welcome signs.
I expected my educational, professional, and artistic opportunities to expand significantly in DC (it did) and then NYC (it did even more) but I've also encountered frustrating restrictions due to my religious/moral values. i.e.

• I wanted to join the Columbia Ballroom Dance Team but they practice on Sundays. 
• I wanted to join a salsa dance performing group but their costumes are basically string bikinis. 
• I wanted to participate in Alvin Ailey's adult dance performance workshops but they perform on Sundays. 
• I wanted to continue taking hip hop dance classes but the song choices had so much profanity and explicit sexual lyrics in them. 

After a series of these disappointments, I couldn't help but think "this would never happen at BYU!" So I compiled these lists below. I know there are parts of BYU/Utah I didn't encounter but these are my very personal memories and experiences. And yes, I know my 2 lists sometimes contradict each other.

What I miss about BYU/Utah:

1. Never needing to defend or explain my religion or moral standards
2. No profanity or explicit sexual comments in public or entertainment
3. No sleazy magazines on the newsstands
4. No activities (performances, athletic events, classes) conflict with keeping the Sabbath Day holy
5. Virtually everyone dresses modestly and modest clothes were easier to find
6. The huge ballroom culture and affordability of lessons
7. No one takes the Lord's name in vain (i.e. Oh my God, Oh God, Jesus Christ, Jesus, Christ, etc.)
8. People don't need alcohol to socialize or have fun, and don't drink in general
9. Nobody smokes = no secondhand smoke
10. Super cheap housing/rent and furnished apartments
11. The cleanliness of streets/sidewalks
12. Not having to worry about openly celebrating Christian holidays and wishing people "Merry Christmas"
13. The sheer quantity of potential dates because almost any cute guy I saw could be presumed to be Mormon and datable unless he had a ring on his finger
14. Never having to worry about negotiating my chastity before marriage in dating because everyone basically assumes no sex before marriage
15. The $2 dollar movie theater on Tuesdays
16. The lack of humidity that makes summers more sweaty and winters more bone-chilling (ahem, Northeast)
17. The high value of marriage and family
18. Lots of sunshine even in winter
19. General honesty - almost always finding what you lost or having it returned to you
20. Big new houses with lots of space (mostly having friends or bishops who have nice houses I can visit)
21. Lots of easily accessible service opportunities (hospitals, nursing homes, schools, etc.)
22. Affordable haircuts
23. Lots of accessible hiking
24. Always knowing which way is north because mountains are to the east
25. So many temples within driving distance (Provo is the first city to have 2 temples!)
26. All the cheap/free fun wholesome activities on campus (music and dance concerts, foreign films, museums, improv and stand-up comedy, etc.)
27. The issue of chronic homelessness has pretty much been solved
28. For the plentitude of community theater productions (and performance opportunities I didn't have time to take advantage of while I was there)
29. For the all around excitement each April and October for General Conference
30. Feeling unique because I'm a salsa-dancing Chinese woman with a Hispanic name

What I don't miss about BYU/Utah:

1. Racial/ethnicity homogeneity and lack of diversity
2. Feeling like an exotic foreigner or ugly duckling in a sea of blondes with blue eyes
3. Feeling old when I wasn't married by age 23
4. The dry and thin air 5000 feet above sea level
5. The gray/tan desert landscape and lack of large moving bodies of water close by
6. Feeling left out in the super outdoorsy culture (rock climbing, mountain biking, camping, etc.)
7. Everything is much more spread out and requires driving to
8. Way fewer missionary opportunities
9. Scraping snow off my windshield and driving in the winter (tho I only had a car my last year)

I know alot has changed on campus since I graduated 5 years ago and I can't wait to go back to visit after finishing my graduate degree!