10 Ways to Live Your Life to the Fullest

The 2010s have been an eventful, formative decade, to say the least. My life has changed in many ways, 98% for the better, for which I feel unspeakably blessed. God is good.

For years, the only words I have in my public Facebook bio are "Living life to the fullest." The opportunities of my 20s have passed (being on the BYU Ballroom Dance Company, living in Washington, DC & NYC, studying and working at an Ivy League university, traveling every month and taking dance pictures everywhere) but I plan to continue living life to the fullest in my 30s during the 2020s.

After finishing another book on Positive Psychology called The How of Happiness, I've been doing some self-assessment on how I'm applying the things that have been scientifically proven to increase happiness. But I don't want to just have happy feelings, I want to live my life with intention in a way that would be pleasing to God. Here's what I came up with, in no particular order:

EMOTIONS - Allowing myself to feel the whole range of human emotions from the warm soul smiles to the heart-stabbing pains, from the infuriating moments to the raw fear. Allowing myself to love truly and deeply. I've spent many hours studying emotions, how to manage them and not be controlled by them. Experiencing emotions is what makes us human. We can't numb negative feelings without numbing positive ones.

RISKS - I am not here on this Earth to stay the same. Positive growth is the most fulfilling part of being alive. I'm not keen on physical risks that may cause bodily harm but more social and emotional risks. Sharing my vulnerable thoughts/feelings with someone face to face. Speaking in public ("If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." D&C 38:30) Opening myself up to critical feedback from a boss or colleague. Swallowing my pride and overcoming my shame to apologize to someone. Giving uncomfortable truth to a loved one.

Your comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there. ~John Assaraf

LEARNING - Soaking in knowledge and wisdom in every form - books, articles, podcasts, classes, magazines, movies/documentaries, conferences, talking to experts. It's a daunting thought to realize that we will never have the time and capacity to learn all the human knowledge ever produced so we must be selective. It's so fun to see what we can learn when we are humble enough to admit we don't know everything.

FORGIVENESS - Grudges take a lot of energy to maintain, energy that could be used to live life more fully otherwise. I try my best to forgive mistakes and offenses as quickly as possible - in myself and others. Those burdens are too heavy and not worth carrying when the Son of God has carried the weight of the world for us so we don't have to.

RELATIONSHIPS - I can be quite a loner. I've always been very independent. I moved across the country to a new city without knowing anyone there. I have unique interests and I'm very fast-paced; I've learned to enjoy my own company and not dread being alone. BUT all positive psychology research shows that meaningful relationships are the biggest contributor to both quality and longevity of human life. I have no problem going to concerts or restaurants alone but I know it will be more fun and memorable if I bring someone along, so I usually do even though it takes more time to coordinate. I've also become really good at maintaining long distance relationships with close friends and family, especially as I realize that it's a bit harder to make new friends as an adult.

“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” ~African proverb

GRATITUDE - I've been keeping a gratitude journal since the beginning of the decade - 10 years! Handwriting 5+ things I'm grateful for every day has changed the way I look at the world. I'm constantly on the lookout for small miracles, tender mercies from God, and lucky situations like getting free lunch at a work meeting. Gratitude is what keeps good things fresh and what helps us avoid taking blessings for granted. I've found that living with an "attitude of gratitude" keeps my heart soft and my mouth smiling. I strongly believe that gratitude is the antidote to any calamity.

GOALS - I think I've always been an achievement-oriented person, a classic go-getter. I love the feeling of checking off an item on my to-do list or working long and hard to prepare for something (like hiking the Grand Canyon). I like pushing myself to learn new skills and accomplish a meaningful challenge. I make new year resolutions and keep most of them, sometimes exceeding them. Research shows focusing on reaching an intrinsically motivated goal improves our satisfaction in life and I've found that to be true.

PRESENCE - So often, I lose out on the enjoyment of a moment because I'm distracted or thinking about what to do next. Getting the most out of life takes our full attention in the here and now, observing all the details, taking in other people's expressions, sharing in the feelings.

NOVELTY - Variety is the spice of life, and that often means trying new things! The world is full of so many rich things to explore and experience - places, food, music, architecture, books, people. This year I went to my 1st rodeo and loved it. I learned to play new board games and cook new foods. I got married and got a new roommate. He's pretty wonderful. One cool benefit of doing new things together is the thrill of novelty simulates the feelings of romance, a great way to keep the flame of love alive!

HOBBIES - The tricky thing is balancing trying new things with doing more of what I love to do. Intentionally carving out time for piano, singing, reading, dancing, movies, exercising, traveling, cooking, concerts/musicals/plays, coaching, and blogging/journaling will be challenging as I get older and life gets more complicated with eventual children, but I count myself extremely fortunate to have found so many activities that get me excited.

Me trying to squeeze the most juice out of the orange of life

These are all constant works in progress. What else do you think it takes to live life to the fullest?