Other Things My Piano Teacher Taught Me

During one of our meetups when I'd come home to visit (2014)

I have an unusual relationship with my piano teacher, Linda. For one thing, we share the same first name! We've stayed good friends for 15 years after I quit taking piano lessons from her. I also adopted her religion the year after I quit, though I didn't know her religion for the 7 years I took lessons from her. It's like we were destined to be forever friends. She's become more of a mentor/aunt and we've kept in touch through my many moves around the country. 

To commemorate her birthday this year and the 22nd year since we met, I decided to write this list of the most enduring lessons I learned from Linda beyond how to play songs on the piano (which she taught me very well and I still play every week!), at least how I remember it. 

1. There are 3 kinds of people in the world: people who automatically like you, people who won't like you no matter what you do, and people who don't care about you either way. Only spend your time and energy on the first group of people. Life is too short to waste time trying to win over the other 2 groups.
• This advice saved and freed me when I was really upset that I couldn't get my 3 roommates to like me. 
2. You can set standards for how people treat your things. 
• Linda wouldn't let me touch her piano until I washed my hands with soap - that was the first thing I needed to do when I arrived at her house. I've kept the same rule about my own piano and laptop.
3. You can set standards for which students you accept. 
• She told me upfront that if I didn't practice enough (supposedly everyday, though I only practiced 4 days a week when I got really busy in high school), she would no longer have me as a student. Also, I had to keep my nails trimmed short in order to have proper form for playing. She only kept students who put in the work and continually progressed. I didn't mind living up to her high standards and also set the same high standards when I taught piano lessons for a while.
4. I need a strong man because I'm a strong woman.
• She gave me this insight in my early 20s when I was busy trying to date and find a husband. I thought about her words for a long time and realized she was right. I'm ambitious and independent, and a critical thinker. I need a man who respects that and is an equal in important ways. God has a sense of humor because I married a wonderful man who happens to have the same name as Linda's husband!
5. Your parents did the best they could given the circumstances.
• She told me this about my angsty teen years when I would complain that my parents didn't do one thing or another the way I wanted. She taught me to have more empathy and appreciation for them. 

I'm sure there are many other lessons that have seeped into my psyche through our hundreds of emails and piano lessons over the years, and there will be other great lessons I'll learn from her! I do know that when 2 friends click, nourishing that friendship is one of the sweetest parts of life. 

Happy birth anniversary, Linda! I'm so grateful you were born :)